Category: jokes

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic …

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theater.

What has 8 legs, 8 hands and 8 eyes?

8 pirates.

Robin: The batmobile won’t start.

Batman: Check the battery. 

 Robin: What’s a tery?

A lumberjack went to a magic forest to cut a t…

Upon arrival at the tree he started swinging at the tree.

“But I’m a talking tree,” said the tree. 

“And you will dialogue,” replied the lumberjack.

I had terrible internet connection on my farm …

Now I have stable WiFi.

If Trump played DnD, what weapon would he use?

Fire staff.

My wife asked if I was going to yoga with her.

I said, “Namaste home today.”

I got pulled over by the cops and asked if I h…

I said, “No, but I’ve got a Sting album.”

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines…

But catscan.

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters l…

A pi-thon.