Category: jokes

I decided to cut ties with all the people weig…

My climbing partner didn’t appreciate it.

The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool.

I wish Tinder had it too.

Why did the farmer decide to try a career in m…

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

A cop pulled me over and asked me, “Where were…

I replied, “Kindergarten.”

How does it feel when you cross a melon with a…

Melancholy.

I just said, “No comment” all the way through …

I didn’t get the job.

I taught my daughter what the word bargain mea…

She said, “Thanks Dad. That means a great deal.”

I was in a liquor store and an employee asked …

I said, “Yes, but I’m going to get whiskey instead.”

I broke two of my Dad’s Queen records.

Now I want to break three.

My dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday.

He buried someone in the wrong plot.

It was a grave mistake.